Dos and Don’ts of Petting a Fearful Cat

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Dos and Don’ts of Petting a Fearful Cat


Person petting a grey Scottish fold cat.

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Once you first pictured adopting a cat, you might have had soothing ideas of purr-filled cuddle classes on the sofa. In actuality, your makes an attempt to pet your cat are typically met with scratches, tail swishes, and nips.

Why, oh why, can or not it’s so exhausting to pet some cats? There are a couple of causes—some could also be short-term and a few could also be distinctive to your cat. However there are some vital issues to study your cat that may make it simpler to understand how a lot affection they need and when to provide it.

Not All Cats Like Affection

A need for affection usually will depend on the socialization and dealing with your cat skilled as a kitten. Oftentimes we don’t know our cat’s historical past and may’t impression how they have been introduced up previous to adoption day.

In the event you’re adopting a brand new cat, you may ask the adoption middle in the event that they know something about your potential cat’s historical past. Ask if the cat had optimistic dealing with as a kitten or if they’ve been particularly fearful within the shelter. This data might assist you decide which cat is best for you.

Genetics additionally have an effect on how a lot a cat needs to work together. Some kittens are born to very shy moms who concern folks and this may be handed on to her kittens. Being mild and taking issues gradual is vital for adopting a shy cat or kitten. One examine confirmed that daring fathers have been extra prone to have daring kittens. These kittens usually tend to be outgoing, adventurous, and fewer scared of interactions with folks.

DO: Discover out about your cat’s historical past in the event you can. In the event that they’ve been dealt with gently since a younger age, they’re extra prone to take pleasure in petting. And in case your cat has a gregarious dad, they’re extra prone to be outgoing too.

DON’T: Count on all cats to have the identical persona. Not all cats take pleasure in affection from strangers and even from acquainted folks. Be affected person and take the time to find out how they wish to work together.

Feline Moods and Wants Can Change



Habits is influenced by genetic background, earlier experiences, and present circumstances. If a cat is squeezed too tight or is harmed throughout petting, they are going to be nervous and keep away from that scenario once more. Repeating this sample is much more prone to lead to fearful and aggressive behaviors in cats.

Dealing with cats gently and punctiliously helps us keep away from disagreeable conditions for them. And cats’ moods can change. Typically an affectionate cat could not wish to be petted, identical to we typically don’t care to be touched.

A cat who enjoys being petted is extra prone to strategy, lean into the scratches, and rub scent glands from their face onto your hand. They might present bunting, kneading, and purring. Cats might also flip for lengthy strokes alongside their again or scratches close to the bottom of the tail.

Some cats keep away from human interplay, present nervous conduct, or make aggressive shows. Why? They simply don’t wish to snuggle proper now and would slightly take pleasure in some playtime or chill out on their very own as an alternative. Components affecting a cat’s present conduct might embody their atmosphere, starvation or thirst, sickness or discomfort, or simply being drained and able to sleep.

DO: Take note of your cat’s temper and present wants. Are they leaning into your pets and rubbing in your legs? Or do they scoot additional away every time you pet them?

DON’T: Drive affection onto a cat who clearly doesn’t need it. This may solely trigger them to be extra scared of you approaching sooner or later.

The place Do Cats prefer to Be Pet?

Image of a happy cat being gently petted under the chin.

Many cats take pleasure in being petted beneath their chins and in different areas across the face.

Some folks make the error of pondering cats are like canine and luxuriate in any affection they will get. Whereas many canine like stomach rub, for instance, it is off-limits for many cats and should result in bites and swipes.

Cats usually tend to take pleasure in scratches close to the candy spots: underneath the chin, across the again of the ears, typically the highest of the top, and lengthy strokes alongside the again of the physique. This doesn’t imply they are going to be comfy with simply anybody giving them scratches, simply as we gained’t really feel comfy being hugged by strangers on the road.

On the subject of being held, some cats don’t thoughts being held briefly, others might even prefer it, and a few cats all the time hate to be picked up. You’ll know which kind your cat is—respect your cat’s boundaries.

My cat permits me to select her up, however provided that I preserve her upright. That is the case for a lot of cats—being the wrong way up or having their bellies uncovered is a really weak place for them.

Take heed to Your Cat’s Physique Language

Image promoting pet insurance for cats.

Some cats take pleasure in prolonged cuddle classes and others desire a quick cordial pat. My cat loves affection—however on her phrases solely. She’s going to come to sit on my lap and I’m allowed to pet her head and again. When she is completed, her tail will flick rapidly and she’s going to give me a glance that claims, “Please cease or put together to be nipped!”

Taking note of physique language like a stiffened physique, shifting weight away, or a tail starting to twitch tells you that your cat has had sufficient for now. There’s nothing improper with this conduct in any respect. It’s no indication that your cat is imply or doesn’t such as you. Simply tune in to their preferences and your mutual belief will proceed to develop.

DO: Provide scratches across the head, base of the ears, and underneath the chin. Cease earlier than your cat turns into agitated. Brief and candy is all the time higher than drawn out and aggravated.

DON’T: Assume an aloof cat is a foul cat—all cats are good cats. Some take time to heat as much as new buddies, whereas others are set of their distinctive methods.

Lastly, in the event you discover a change in your cat’s conduct throughout a petting session, i.e., she normally enjoys pats however now seems painful, agitated, or avoids contact, there could also be one thing extra happening, and it is best to get in contact along with your vet.

Additionally Learn: What Your Cat’s Tail Can Inform You

Regularly Requested Questions

How does a cat like to be petted?

Cats usually like scratches across the head, neck, and behind the ears. They might take pleasure in lengthy strokes alongside the again of the physique. Don’t try to scratch the stomach, legs, or ft. These are locations that cats don’t usually take pleasure in being touched.

How do you get a cat to allow you to pet?

Gradual and thoughtful must be your strategy. Pay shut consideration to your cat’s physique language and cease earlier than the cat seems agitated or tries to maneuver away. Provide scratches across the head and neck. Don’t pressure a cat to work together by backing them right into a nook, making an attempt to provide a stomach rub, and undoubtedly don’t squeeze them tightly.

The place do cats not prefer to be petted?

Don’t attempt to pet a cat’s stomach, even whether it is mendacity on its again. That is an space the place they really feel very weak and is extra prone to be met with a scratch or chunk.

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