70 Crappy (however sensible) Christmas Presents for Hikers |

(Word: This 12 months’s listing comprises a lot of your outdated favourites, together with 20 new additions. I understand that December 24 could be very late for a Christmas reward put up, however what the hey, this text has by no means actually been in regards to the pressies. Completely satisfied Christmas to everybody, and will your festive season be stuffed with peace, surprise, and not less than two or three stomach laughs. Cheers, Cam). 

Within the 12 years since its launch, the most well-liked articles on The Climbing Life haven’t been about out of doors expertise, backpacking gear, or journey stories from far-flung locales. Nope, they’ve been about crappy hiker presents that you may decide up for lower than 5 {dollars}.

From Walmart with Love.

Due to this fact, after a three-year hiatus, I’ve determined to mud off the festive season favorite and provides my thrifty readership extra of what they appear to like. With out additional ado, if cash’s tighter than a hairpin flip however for some inexplicable cause, you’re feeling a way of obligation to offer your hiker buddies one thing, take into account the next 70 reward concepts for beneath $5 $10.

1.  A Field of Ziplocs – Just about everybody takes Ziplocs (or equivalents) backpacking. However let’s be trustworthy, nothing says, “I don’t give a shit about you” like plastic luggage for Christmas.

2.  Path Patches – Perfect reward for hikers that need everybody to know that they’ve thru-hiked the Appalachian or Pacific Crest Path however aren’t fairly able to take the calf tattoo plunge.

3.  Socks – For lower than $10, you might have to go artificial and even cotton. No Merino Wool or any of these different fancy blends. If doable, attempt to make your alternative seasonal-appropriate. You understand those with little Christmas bushes and snowmen on them……..possibly some reindeer as properly.

4.  Dental Floss – Along with serving to to maintain your tooth clear, uber-strong dental floss can be utilized as thread for gear repairs within the subject, an emergency substitute for a damaged shoelace, and even a makeshift clothesline beneath your shelter at night time.

5.  Bandana –  You possibly can typically discover these multi-purpose gems on the backside of out of doors retailer discount bins. Potential makes use of embody: towel, water filter, neck safety, pot cleaner, tent drier, pee rag for she-hikers, hanky, makeshift gaiters, helpful to put on in your face throughout sand storms, and useful if you’re low on funds and resolve to rob a comfort retailer.

Bandana………..7-Eleven mode.

6. Hacky Sacks (set of 6)– I’ve a couple of hippy hiker mates that love these little luggage. At simply over $3 every they characterize glorious worth, weigh solely a few ounces, take up nearly no house in your pack, and might make for a enjoyable diversion throughout lengthy days on path. With each third set bought, patrons will obtain a complimentary eBook copy of The Mild Artwork of Bong and Pipe Making.

7.  Bathroom Paper – In the event that they aren’t too choosy with regard to softness/high quality, $10 price of lavatory roll can probably final the giftee all of a multi-month thru-hike…………not less than when supplemented with the stuff they may pinch from accommodations, eating places, gasoline stations, and classier public restrooms.

8. Titan (or Voile) Straps – Used to carry collectively two trekking poles when pitching mid-style shelters in probably stormy situations. I used this stable setup throughout my current journey to the Faroes/Greenland/Lapland (see picture under).

MLD Duomid, Arctic Circle Path, Greenland.

9.  Loopy/Tremendous Glue – Helpful for sleeping mat repairs, small holes in tents, and at a pinch, even cuts and blisters.

10.  Tent Pegs – If you wish to go fancy, for a $10er you possibly can in all probability decide up a couple of titanium stakes. Alternatively, you should purchase six to eight of the Military Disposal Retailer selection.

11.  Plastic Disposable Kitchen Gloves – You should purchase 100-count packs (or extra) of those for a track on Amazon. They can be utilized as a part of a layering system to your fingers when mountain climbing in extraordinarily chilly and moist situations. For particulars, see “The way to Hold Your Fingers Heat Whereas Climbing in Chilly Climate.”

12.  Baking Soda – One other glorious multi-purpose merchandise that extra hikers ought to find out about. Makes use of embody toothpaste, deodorant substitute, cleansing pots and drink bottles, antacid for upset stomachs, and helps to take away foot odour from sneakers. As well as, baking soda assists in relieving itching related to insect bites, bee stings, and poison ivy/oak.

12. Head Web – Weighs solely an oz or two and could be a sanity saver throughout the top of bug season. Certainly, when the midges, mozzies, or sandflies are swarming, I’m undecided there’s a higher value-for-money merchandise in a single’s backpacking equipment.

13.  $10 Goodwill Reward card – Polyester Hawaiian-style shirts, solar attire, saggy shorts, 100wt fleece – the listing of discount basement hiker choices are virtually countless. Keep away from socks, lingerie, and bandanas. There’s low cost, and there’s simply plain cheesy.

Tatu Jo – Legendary long-distance hiker and long-time connoisseur of thrift retailer mountain climbing shirts (picture courtesy of Whitney LaRuffa).

14.  Hand Sanitizer – I haven’t had a case of the trots within the “backcountry” (so to talk) since 1999. I believe that the diligent use of hand sanitizer is a part of the rationale. I all the time preserve a small bottle useful in one of many shoulder strap pockets on my backpack (together with sunscreen and lip balm).

15.  Folgers Basic Decaf Prompt – None of that fancy Through stuff from Starbucks. The truth that it’s decaf leaves the giftee in little doubt as to how you actually really feel about them.

16.  Simpsons Bic Lighters – Customised Bic lighters that includes characters and scenes from The Simpsons. Whereas cooking up a feast at day’s finish, these little flame throwers are positive to convey a smile to your fellow hiker’s dials. And bear in mind…….

17.  Six-Pack of Ramen – A culinary staple for backpackers. Should you actually need to make an effort, choose singles with a wide range of flavours.

18.  Tyvek Groundsheet – This may really value you nothing if yow will discover a bit in a building web site dumpster. Customise the dimensions for the giftee. It’s the little issues that depend.

19.  Reconstituted Talenti Ice Cream Container – A much-loved mainstay of the cold-soaking crowd.  The Talenti container sports activities a large mouth, a screw-top lid, and naturally, the not-to-be-scoffed-at bonus of a (semi)tasty pint of ice cream.

20.  Diaper Pins – This one is courtesy of long-time subscriber Gerry B, who wrote that “old school diaper pins are a lot bigger and stronger than normal security pins, and I preserve a pair hooked to my packs for drying socks or different items of clothes.”

21. Dr. Bronner’s Cleaning soap: Helpful travel-sized selection pack. Weight-conscious hikers can repackage into mini-dropper bottles (see under). Not solely are they reasonably priced and sensible, however gifting Dr.Bronner’s is a none-too-subtle manner of claiming, “mate, you actually need to work in your hygiene.”

22.  Mini Dropper Bottles (2 Pack) – For nearly 20 years, I’ve repackaged my hand sanitizer and Aquamira in these tiny bottles for all of my backcountry journeys.

23.  Trash Compactor Bag – When bought in packets of 10 or 20, these infants often work out to between $1 and $2 a pop. It puzzles me as to why anybody would spend $40 plus for a dyneema pack liner, when a trash compactor bag weighs about the identical (a tiny bit heavier) and performs simply as properly for a fraction of the worth.

24. Zipper Cleaner – Conserving tent zippers clear charges simply behind laundering your sleeping bag on the listing of issues hikers are susceptible to overlook on the finish of a protracted backpacking season. Zipper upkeep is particularly essential if a lot of your mountain climbing is finished in coastal or desert environments (Tip: At all times be mild with zippers; by no means pressure a caught zipper).

25.  Condoms – Along with the apparent, the outdated Johnny bag will also be used as an emergency water holder (as much as 2 liters) in case one in every of your bottles develops a leak. In addition they turn out to be useful as a water-proof cowl to your telephone throughout river crossings. It’s even doable to make use of the contact display screen by way of the latex – helpful for protected sexting.

Whether or not you’re sexting or fording a difficult river, if it’s not on, it’s not on.

26.  Bag Balm – Bag Balm now is available in sensible travel-sized 1/4 oz tubes. Not solely does these things works wonders on thigh and bum chafe, however it additionally turns out to be useful if you’re overcome by the urge to exploit a cow whereas out on path (i.e. Which was its unique function when developed again in 1899).

27.  Titanium Stitching Scissors – I’ve a few gram weenie hiker mates who love these items. They tip the scales at solely 0.3 oz, and in the event you add the mini-tweezers from the Swiss Military Basic, you may have a gossamer weight combo (0.4 oz), which ought to cowl nearly your whole restore and tick elimination wants whereas out within the subject.

28. 3M Micropore Tape – Breathable paper medical tape. Adheres properly. I’ve used it for years as a substitute of band-aids and different adhesive strips.

29.  Ibuprofen – Vitamin “I”. A hurting hiker’s greatest good friend. Will be discovered in lots of (if not most) hikers’ First-Assist kits. Neglect in regards to the title manufacturers comparable to Advil and go generic. For $10 you possibly can often decide up a 100-count bottle at most main supermarkets.

30.  Backcountry Bidet / Reconstituted Sports activities Drink Bottle (600ml) – Low cost and multi-purpose. You possibly can decide one up at any petrol/gasoline station. Search for bottles with a flip-cap spout. Present you care by together with the next directions and warnings on an accompanying Submit-it word:

A. Remember to fill the bottle to the highest earlier than use, as roughly solely the primary 200 ml are squirtable;

B. Quick, sharp squeezes fired at an upward angle of 45° work greatest, and;

C. Professional Tip: Don’t put the spout too near your freckle, as accidents can occur, and there’s nothing worse than discovering poo floaties in your consuming water over the course of the mountain climbing day.

A sports activities drink bottle and 4 squares of TP are all you want to your morning constitutional.

31. Bleach – Neglect about these fancy filters and chlorine dioxide drops. Bleach tastes horrible and is probably not very efficient combatting giardia and crypto, however what the hey, for $10 you should purchase sufficient to final you a few thru-hikes after which put your financial savings in direction of a course of Fasigyn.

32. Inflatable Pillow / Wine field bladder – The redneck’s backcountry pillow. For bogan bonus factors and a surefire thumper of a headache the next day, pack in a full field and drink all of it on the primary night time of your journey.

33. Security Sun shades – A number of totally different choices. Go for one that gives good UV safety. You possibly can typically decide them up for round $10 a pair on-line or at {hardware} shops.

34.  Electrolyte Tablets – Particularly useful when mountain climbing in scorching temperatures and/or for people that repeatedly undergo from muscle cramps.

35. Ultralight Backpackin’ Ideas – Greater than a decade after it was printed, Mike Clelland’s Ultralight Backpackin’ Ideas nonetheless charges as one of the vital informative and entertaining books on the right way to lighten your pack weight.

36. Make America Nice Once more cap – Sensible and crappy. Regarding the former high quality, the hat’s brim helps to maintain the solar’s damaging rays off your face. As for the crappy half…….properly………..

37.  Hand Rake (Set of two) – Talking of the porn-star-hushing, document-squirreling, disinfectant-boosting, tax-avoiding, NFT-hawking, election-denying, riot-fanning, wannabee-Greenland-purchasing, former Commander Bankrupt In Chief, one in every of Trumpy’s most memorable solutions was to comply with Finland’s instance in serving to to maintain America’s “forests flooring clear.” Hikers can do their half by choosing up a pair of those light-weight leaf scoopers for his or her subsequent backcountry tour. They weigh beneath 12 oz a pair and are straightforward to strap onto the again of your pack when not in use. With each second pair bought, patrons will obtain both a “Rake America Nice Once more” or “I Love Finland” bumper sticker.

Leaf scoopers/hand rakes are a terrific possibility for both the yard or your subsequent backpacking journey.

Need to go the additional mile in forest hearth prevention? This Finnish girl exhibits us how by taking good care of the forest ground close to her house.

37. Beer Koozie – Multi-purpose merchandise. Emergency mitten, storage to your DSLR lenses, paw protector in case your canine steps on a cactus, and helps to maintain that post-hike beer that you simply left in your automotive refreshingly lukewarm. Earn gram weenie bonus factors by buying it from one in every of your favorite ultralight cottage gear firms.

38.  Therm-a-rest Z-Lite Seat Pad  – When your outdated Z-Lite has gone flatter than gander’s arch, lob off a few segments and reward them to a mountain climbing buddy looking for a bit extra back-country consolation throughout their noon breaks. Alternatively, huge spenders can splash out on a new Z-Seat Pad and share the posterior love amongst three of their hiker mates.

39.  Frogg Toggs / DriDucks Rain Pants – The whole Frog Toggs swimsuit will value round $22. Nevertheless, whereas the jacket could also be a practical possibility for a lot of three-season backpacking excursions, the pants (est. worth $0.10) are about as sturdy as a pair of Altras on something however manicured trails. Regardless of the surroundings, chances are high you’ll blow out the crotch, bottom, or rip a gap in one of many legs inside a few days of leaving the trailhead.

Frog Toggs pants within the subject (picture from BWCA.com).

40.  Mylar Blanket (Pack of 10) – A discount at lower than a greenback a pop. Along with being utilized in emergencies, house blankets will also be employed as a light-weight floor sheet, signaling mirror, and makeshift tarp.

41.  Baskin & Robbins Pink Spoon –  Should you order a sundae at Baskin & Robbins, it comes with a semi-durable, difficult-to-lose, long-handled pink plastic spoon. I used one in every of these for 2000 miles on the Pacific Crest Path in 2012.

42.  The Fellowship of the Ring – That is the primary a part of “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy, and for my cash, the perfect thru-hiking story ever written. You possibly can usually decide up a used copy for lower than a fiver on Amazon. Principally, it’s the story of a various bunch of fellows who went out for a multi-month stroll, acquired as much as a lot of memorable adventures, met some cool path angels, took some zero days, had some variations of opinion with regard to route choice, cut up into separate teams, stood by one another when occasions have been powerful, completed their journeys at totally different termini, and, lastly, met up for celebratory post-hike beers on a subject known as Cormallen at journey’s finish.

The boys from the Fellowship with the Misty Mountains within the background.

43.  John Muir’s Works – You possibly can decide up both a paperback or Kindle model of “The Yosemite” and “My First Summer time within the Sierra” for lower than $5 on Amazon. Greater than three many years after first studying Muir’s works as a young person, he stays one in every of my favorite wilderness writers.

44.  Tenacious Tape – An improve from duct tape for out-in-the-field gear repairs to your tent, rain jacket, or wind shirt

45.  Mini Cube – This one is courtesy of my good friend, Liz “Snorkel” Thomas, backpacking sage, writer, and Queen of City Via-hiking. In line with Snorks, “5 mini-dice weigh in at grams and supply hours of leisure for hikers trapped in a tent or shelter on a wet or snowy day. Good for Yahtzee, Farkel, and anything you may make up.” A 100-pack will set you again $5.

46.  PeakFinder App – This advice is from my outdated mate, Paul Magnanti (Pmags). Whereas mountain climbing in Colorado’s Sangre de Cristo vary in 2016, Mags blew me away when he began randomly rattling off the names and altitudes of each mountain nearby. Simply once I thought he was taking the piss, he confirmed me the PeakFinder app on his telephone ($3.99 as of 2022). To make use of the app, merely level the digicam at your mountain of alternative, and a panoramic drawing will overlay the picture and offer you all of the related particulars. It at the moment has info on greater than 950,000 peaks all over the world (Word: Different helpful apps for hikers embody PlantNet (free, easy, quick, and correct plant identifications), SkySafari (straightforward to make use of astronomy information to the night time sky), and Knots 3D (take a wild guess).

PeakFinder App (picture from peakfinder.org).

47. Nan Shepherd’s “The Dwelling Mountain”: Shepherd was a Scottish poet and nationalist who’s commemorated on the nation’s five-pound word. “The Dwelling Mountain” is Shepherd’s superbly written testomony to the thrill and wonders of strolling in nature, particularly in her beloved Cairngorm mountains.

48.  Dehydrated Cocktails – Good for hip flask-carrying backpackers that need to lengthen hiker midnight previous 9 pm. Taste choices embody Mango Margarita, Mint Mojito, and Blood Orange Mai Tai.

49. Customized Revenge Voodoo Doll – When sharing somebody’s path combine has left you with a debilitating case of the trots, otherwise you picked up just a little greater than you bargained for throughout a wild night time at Path Days, reward your self one in every of these customized light-weight dolls (3.2 oz / pins included). Positive they value a bit over $10, however it’s onerous to place a worth on dose of path revenge.

Customized Revenge Voodoo Doll

50. Backpacking Abilities/Instructional Books – A lot of the backpacking recommendation you see on YouTube is 90 p.c tip and 10 p.c iceberg. For people simply entering into the game, I extremely suggest choosing up a handful of traditional hiking-related texts, which is able to complement the time you spend out within the boonies in serving to to construct your backcountry ability set and information base.

51.  The underside half of a Platypus bladder – When your platy bladder is discoloured, more and more brittle, and the seam on the prime has ruptured, minimize it in half and regift the underside half to an ultralight hiker good friend. They will then use it to scoop water from filthy puddles when mountain climbing in pink rock nation or alternatively make use of it as a poor man’s consuming vessel.

52. Plastic Bathe Curtain – Neglect about fancy supplies comparable to Dyneema Composite Materials (DCF); the legendary Grandma Gatewood used a plastic bathe curtain for rain safety when she grew to become the primary girl to thru-hike the Appalachian Path in 1955. In doing so, she might have inadvertently turn into the originator of the Poncho Tarp.

The legendary Grandma Gatewood.

53. Spam satchels – America’s favourite thriller meat. Cheap, long-lasting, and full of fats and protein, (in principle) spam looks like it might be possibility for calorie-loading long-distance hikers. Till you really style it. I throw up just a little in my mouth simply fascinated about it.

54.  Mack’s Silicone Ear Plugs – Anti-snoring resolution. In line with their promo spiel, Mack’s “have been saving marriages since 1962.” Essential for anybody pondering of going from hut to hut within the Alps or mountain climbing the Appalachian Path throughout the common season (Word: As a bonus, I can personally attest that Mack’s silicone plugs work nice within the pool as properly, for these of us which can be susceptible to swimmer’s ear infections).

55.  Beano Extremely – When your mountain climbing associate is overdoing it on the dehydrated beans, and his or her farts would make a skunk blush, provide them some Beano Extremely to chop issues off on the pass.

56. Croakies (or equal) – Helpful reward for noggin-perching sunglass wearers, comparable to myself, that repeatedly scratch or lose sun shades out within the boonies.

57.  Smartwater bottle – Light-weight (1.3 oz), lengthy, slim, clean sides, and fairly sturdy, Smartwater is the consuming vessel of alternative for a lot of weight-conscious backpackers.

58.  Spiky Therapeutic massage Ball– Light-weight and compact merchandise that helps to scale back muscle ache and pressure within the toes, calves, hips, glutes, and shoulders. For just a little more money, you possibly can go for a lighter and extra environmentally pleasant cork possibility from Rawology.

59.  Handsfree Umbrella Clamp – Purposeful accent for umbrella customers (particularly those who wield trekking poles) that clips onto virtually any shoulder strap.

Greg “Malto” Gressel on a dampish hike in New York’s Adirondack mountains (2015).

60. Paper Espresso Filters – Low cost-as-chips merchandise that’s helpful for pre-filtering soiled or silty water.

61. Resort/Spa Slippers – Tipping the scales at round 70 gr/2.5 oz, resort slippers are an affordable, gentle, compact, and comfy camp shoe possibility. They’re additionally best for backcountry huts when it’s good to depart your mountain climbing sneakers on the door.

62. Sponges – Featherweight, multi-purpose merchandise that can be utilized as a pot cleaner, condensation dryer, and, in the event you’re actually determined, to take in the final drops of water in a shallower-than-shallow pothole (Word: A straw can be a greater possibility for the final level).

63. Blaze Orange Vest (and hat) – Important equipment when mountain climbing throughout looking season in lots of locations within the US. Within the phrases of PMags (seen within the picture under): “Carrying blaze orange is sweet for security; hunters admire it, and it’s a respectful manner of sharing the outside amongst all customers.”

Yours really and Pmags throughout a 2014 journey within the Mount Evans Wilderness.

64. Foot File/Callus Remover – You possibly can typically decide foot recordsdata up for beneath $10, however for one thing as essential as your toes, I’d suggest spending a wee bit extra for a mannequin that’s going to do the job properly and final for the lengthy haul. I purchased a Probelle a couple of years again, and it’s nonetheless going robust.

65. Nikwax Down Wash –  For arguably essentially the most cherished (and infrequently the costliest) merchandise in a backpacker’s equipment, it surprises me what number of people don’t take higher care of their sleeping bag/quilt. In a nutshell, laundering your bag or quilt every year will assist it last more and insulate extra successfully (Word: If you wish to go the additional yard, purchase the giftee a couple of tennis balls to assist within the drying course of).

66. Lint –  Makes for a terrific emergency hearth starter. Empty the contents of your garments dryer’s lint catcher right into a tiny Ziploc bag. Throw in some further lint out of your stomach button simply to offer the reward a extra private contact.

Stomach lint extraction – Japanese fashion.

67. Packing Pod Pillow – I have a tendency to not use quite a lot of stuff sacks once I hike, however during the last couple of years, I’ve periodically introduced alongside a few SMD packing pods. Other than being useful for organizational functions, these brightly colored pods are additionally the right measurement to make use of as a pillowcase, filled with no matter clothes objects you’re not sleeping in.

68. 100 Wt Fleece – Sturdy, breathable, and moisture-resistant energetic put on. A wonderful value-for-money merchandise that (as a rule) has a spot in my backpacking equipment no matter the surroundings or season. They’ll often value just a little over $10, however you possibly can typically discover them on particular for beneath $20 or $30.

69. Mini Carabiners – Ideas the size at 0.1 oz/3 gr and can be utilized for guyline attachments, drying hooks, and hanging bear luggage. Poncho tarp customers can use them to make a fast transition from poncho to shelter mode when it’s raining.

70. Fanny Pack – Fanny packs are just like the fruitcakes of the backpacking world. They get quite a lot of shit, however on the finish of the day, you’ve acquired to tip your cap to a utilitarian merchandise that merely refuses to go away. Talking of one thing/one that’s inconceivable to kill…………..

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